Speed Dating

They say you should try anything once. Well, most things anyway. Which is why I ended up this evening at a speed dating event. A good friend pushed me to try it (she met her bf that way) so I signed up for one that sounded… interesting. An event for “Asian women and the men who love them” said the description, and that fits me pretty well In my hurry to register I failed to notice the age range (28-45), which might have saved some raised eyebrows later. Alas, I realized my omission earlier today, but decided to still go through with it, just for fun.

Now this type of thing can go only two ways: either very good, or horribly (= hilariously) wrong. And because I love laughing at my misadventures, take a guess which one it is

Here are my notes, scribbled down on the phone while waiting for the event to start:

• man, everybody’s so old. 3 women so far, clearly close to 40s
• some men are wearing suits. some are in jeans and sneakers. one asian, the rest white
• ok, more women came. they seem younger, but it’s hard to tell for sure
• they’re playing songs with Asian-themed lyrics. and by that I mean gems like “me love you long time”. I’m not making this shit up
• can’t stop laughing, probably because of the lyrics
• a dude started a convo with the woman waiting next to me. he blabbers about soulmates. I can’t stop laughing
• “so are you gonna be sober?” best pickup line so far
• apparently they’re 6 women short (out of 15 or so). the host apologized and said us men will get a free booking for next time. hahaha
• I have never felt so young
• more women came. looks like we’re ready to start
• [those was added after the event ended] here’s how it went down, with each:
  1. japanese, lives in astoria. translator. not my type. also, old
  2. works for the city. born and raised here. way over my age
  3. coworker of #2. same background. same age
  4. this one actually looked younger. until she spoke
  5. young looking and stacked. showing lots of cleavage . first q she asks me: “how old are you?” “28.” “i’m 40.”
  6. chinese, worked in Japan a lot. old
  7. filipino. might not look too bad in optimal lighting conditions. still, old
  8. mom???
  9. this one was so old it wasn’t even funny. she tells me I’m the youngest one there. “I know.” not much else to say after
• the event is done. the host explains how we can get in touch with our “matches” and invites us to stay at the place for drinks and more conversation. I’m the first out the door.