C O L L E C T I O N S | |
SHIT HAPPENS |
Shit Happens... in various professions |
Mathematician Shit happening is just a special case... Statistician There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe. Physicist (Theoretical) Shit SHOULD happen. Physicist (Experimental) To within experimental error, shit DID happen. Engineer I hope this shit holds together. Chemist I hope this shit doesn't blow up. Gee, what'll happen if I mix this and ... SHIT!!!! Damn this shit smells... Biologist Is this shit alive? Botanist What this daisy needs is some fresh shit. Economist I hope no one figures out that I don't really understand this shit. Beurocrat I'm sorry, but we can't make this shit happen until you fill out form XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our Assistant Sub-Deputy Manager to obtain form ZN-271828... CEO (1980's) I've got all the shit I want. (1990's) Oooh, SHIT! Lawyer For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit. Doctor Take two shits and call me in the morning. Yes, it's definitely a case of shit happening. $90, please... Acupuncturist Hold still or it will hurt like shit. Let all that shit go. This will really get the energy shit moving. Surgeon Shit, where's this organ supposed to go? Psychologist Shit is in your mind. Everything that happens is shit; some of it is just repressing its subconscious shittiness. Programmer It's shit, but at least it compiles. Social Scientist Let's pretend that shit doesn't happen... Historian The same shit happens again and again. Politician It's shit, but it'll get me elected. If you elect me, shit will never again happen. Shit happening is bad for the economy. My Fellow Americans, All I stand for is shit. Waitress You want fries with that shit? Teacher Repeat after me: one shit + one shit =? Dean Let's see how much shit the faculty'll take. Accountant Why doesn't this shit add up? Linguist What I'm doing is a bunch of feces tauri. (For non-Latin-speakers: feces tauri=the excrement of a bull) Quality Control Inspector This shit ain't good enough. IRS Auditor I'll make 'em squirm for putting this shit on their tax forms. Farmer I get subsidies for my shit. Union leader Give us more shit or we'll strike. Mafia boss Rub the little shits out. NYC Cab Driver Damn, looks like I hit that shit... Mechanic Shit...this will cost a lot, mister. Chef It needs some more of this green shit. Musician This shit is out of tune. Artist If Jesse Helms likes it, it is shit. Shit, I wish I thought of that. Anything you can buy for $2.99 isn't art, it's shit. Poet My childhood was shit, let me share. Ode to a Grecian Shit. My love is like a red, red shit. ... and miles to go before I shit, and miles to go before I shit... Developer Shit happens on a daily basis, that's why we have maintainance programmers. |